So Little Time

So many things to say so little time to pen them down.

There's something about the ends and the beginnings of a year for me.

I lose all capabilities to concentrate on anything.

This is probably cos I'm too busy reminiscing about last year and taking my time getting used to this year. And since it takes awhile for me to get used to this year hence the lackability to get things back on track.

But after yesterday I realized that time is short and must not be wasted on 'getting used to'.

We never know when we're going to say farewell to the world and hello to the afterlife.

This guy who I used to have a crush on for a little bit just passed away yesterday. The thing is, I wasn't so close to him or anything but it's just that, it was so sudden. Out of the blue. Like, eh? You're dead?

Okay, yeah that sounds so blunt. But thats how I view death. With bluntness. I mean granted I will cry for certain deaths. But you know, we just have to face it. I mean, funnily enough, death is part of life.

He was 22. I still can't believe it really.

Anyways, it just made me realize that I can't plan my life too much.

Because planning means not being able to do secondary plans that I want to do.

I guess at the end of the day the question is: what are your priorities in life?

Because evidently we can't have em' all. So I guess we just have to go with the flow, try our best to achieve what we feel is the most important to us?

So what are your goals in life with this little time we have?

A lot of philosophers say people want to be happy. But what does it mean 'to be happy'?

And loads answer 'with love'. That at the end of the day, everyone just wants to feel loved whether self-love or loved by someone else.

My question is : why love? why does love give this happiness to people?

And to think I had that photo of me completely anti-love a couple of years ago.

Haha. Damn, I sure know how to make a statement.

Well I still love me (which is the most important next to God) but loathe loving others?

Because I end up caring too much?

Sigh.

This photo definitely still applies.

Drug Bust!

There was a drug bust in my house.

Yeah, I make it sound so nonchalant.

But honestly, its not something you laugh about. Well, I still do bits and pieces here and there. But no one knows how traumatizing shit like this can be.

I mean don't get me wrong, no one shot me in the head or anything or else I wouldn't be typing this nor did anyone hold me at gunpoint (touch wood) but well, I was still a little traumatized so yeah, give me a week.

I should be okay as soon as we change the locks.

Ok so what happened?

It was last Friday and I had actually not wanted to go out but since Erica was really persistent i was like, okay fine.

I got on the 7.40pm bus listening to my ChiPod which was playing Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper when 3 seconds into the bus moving it stopped. I looked at the bus door to see a woman entering the bus and said something to the bus driver.

And then she walks straight to me and goes "You need to come with me" and flashes her police badge. I was like what the...

So I got off the bus.

And then the conversation went like this:

"Do you live at 311 Stannard Avenue?" she asked.

"Yes? Why is everything okay?" I asked.

She then proceeded with, "do you know the couple downstairs?"

I was like "kinda but not really actually I've only spoken to the girl like twice. Why whats wrong? The guy can be verbal abusive. Is that the problem?"

"He's been arrested..." she said.

"Oh damn..what did he do?" I asked.

"He was actually arrested because we caught him drug dealing and we have reasonable belief that there are drugs in your house. Is there anyone else in the house? Is the kid in there?"

"Oh my God (more like, holy shit in my head) no no one is home but me and her. I thought he was in too but I guess if he's been arrested its just her." I said.

"Where's Candace (my landlady)?" she asks.

"She's with her boyfriend" I said.

Then we were distracted because her partners showed up.

"Listen, we're going to have to get you to come down to the station because you live in there you have to be detained. Also we need your assistance on the layout of the house"

I was like "Um, really? But I'm meeting my friends."

"So sorry but you need to come with us. We apologize for this. You also can't contact anybody to let them know about this." they said.

"Hmm. Okay." I said.

****

And so I ended up at the police station. Not exactly happy but not upset either.

Just dazed and confused and a wee bit curious.

It's really amazing where your mind takes you when you're stuck in a cell for 3 hours.

But they did give me things to do in there.

Such as draw a layout of the house. That killed 45 minutes or so.

After that, well, I was on my own.

Sitting there I thought about the most juvenile things I've done. I pretended to be a criminal. I thought about those CSI scenes where they interrogate you and you act all in denial and shit. I thought about what would happened if I was wrongfully accused and actually had to end up in jail. I imagined what would the Malaysian Consulate need to do to rescue me. I imagined myself sleeping in a cell. I thought about how I would have to take a mug shot. Then I thought "well at least I look good tonight". Stuff like that.

****
After three hours passed, they finally let me go.

What pissed me off was they didn't send me home like they said they would!

Rat Bastards!

So I was left out in the cold at the outskirts of downtown.

I was so pissed. Walking pass the street near China Town where all the drug addicts lurked really pissed me off.

That night I hated drugs because drug addicts need drugs and where do they get them from? STUPID DRUG DEALERS.

I still don't mind weed and mushrooms though. Hehe. What? They're both edible!

Anyways, I reached downtown luckily enough my bus was still running. It was the last bus I think. Which made me so happy cos I didn't have to pay like 8 bucks for a cab ride. I was so relieved. All I could think of was going home and calling my friends and apologizing to them about what happened and then just go to bed.

****

So I get home. And I see unfamiliar cars there. Obviously the cops were still there.

So I walk up to the doorstep and the door was locked. A cop opens it and he was the cop I drew the map for and he was like "I'm sorry you're not supposed to be here yet"

"But they told me I could go!" I said.

"Yeah but we're still not done with the search yet so you can't be here for this. So sorry. Is there some place you can go?"

I was boiling mad already. All I wanted to do was fucking go home. On top of that I was using my Malaysian number so I was trying to limit my calls (but I still called anyways).

"Its 11.30 at night. I would go some place but there are no busses running!" I said.

He just had an apologetic look on his face.

"How long more is this going to take?" I asked.

"Another hour and a half I think" he answered.

Cursing under my breathe I muttered "Fine I'll be at the pub next door".

So I buggered off. REALLY PISSED AND UPSET.

**

I get to the pub which is just 2 minutes away and the pub is CLOSED.

I was so flipping upset.

I sat outside the pub on a bench in the cold in the rain. It was the most scariest feeling ever. I mean I don't mind being alone but I do mind when no one is there to help me in a fucking situation like this.

I tried phoning my friends. No one was picking up.

Until luckily, Jenn picked up my phone call.

Somehow listening to a familiar voice made me bawl for like a good split second. And then Jenn luckily had Luis with her who has a car so they came straight away to the rescue.

Sigh.

What a night it was.

As soon as they arrived I went to pick up my house keys from the cops and they asked me.

"How long have you been living here?"

"A month?" I answered.

"Did you know there were guns down there?"

I was like......fuck.

So yeah, moral of the story is, if you're going to rent out to somebody ask them if they are drug dealers cos you DO NOT want to be in a drug bust.

Trust me on this one!

Brief Book Review

Norah Vincent's Self Made Man.

An interesting book about a woman who decides to try and dress, talk and live like a man for about a year and a half so she could understand what it's like to be a man.

Obviously, she will never know what it's like to be a man.

Some bits of this book was like, what the fuck? Her assumptions on the society she tapped into was too stereotypical for me. She was too quick too judge at them. And too quick to assume things that should not be assumed. Typical of a woman perhaps. Haha.

But she points out a lot of things that men apparently go through. Like the pressures and expectations of becoming a man. Like men are taught from young to not show any form of sensitivity. Like it wasn't manly to cry. Nor was it manly to be too affectionate. Or manly to talk about emotions. Stuff like that.

I mean, when did it become not okay for men to be like this?

Didn't the days of Aristotle show men being affectionate towards men?

Anyways, she divides her observation to eight chapters. Firstly how she go started, to how she made friends, to how she attempted sex (though if guys think it's in detail, it's not), then to love, then life, then work, then self discovery and finally her journey's end.

It's interesting, but I can't say it was like OH MY GOD like she totally got it right about men. I mean, it IS at the end of the day a woman attempting to be a man not because she really wants to be a man but because she just wants to understand how men are around men. And sometimes I find her skewing her thoughts especially since her sexual orientation is in the end not towards men. Perhaps if she were heterosexual her perceptions and assumptions would have been completely different. Or if she came from a different social background altogether?

I kind of want a man's perspective on this book and ask them do they really go through stuff like this?

Of course, knowing men, they might not answer.

But I wish they would.

Wishful thinking I reckon.

The Current US President

Why is Bush so stupid?

Why is he a bigot who really, in reality, has no meaningful opinions?

Why did he win the elections twice?

He recently visited the Middle East to have some diplomatic talks bla bla bla. I'm sure it's all a cover up to make him look like a nicer man.

Perhaps he really is actually, a nice guy?

I don't know that for sure.

But God I hope they elect a better President in the next elections because I cannot stand seeing this Bush dude talk anymore shit.

Argh.

My Masakan In Canada So Far

A wise friend once said to me, if you love to eat, you can probably cook.

Yeah it's true.

I love to eat, and I can definitely cook.

I think it's brilliant how God managed to have such creativity in making us humans incredibly satisfied.

Aside from sex, how did God think of food?

It's genius!

And there's just so many kinds of food too! Furthermore the tastes range from sweet to sour to salty to spicy to oh my God mouth melting experiences! And the aroma! Oh man, don't get me started!

Anyways, I hadn't cooked in ages.

In KL, I never cooked because well, I never needed to.

But here, well, eating out would kill my budget so cooking is a must. It's good though because it domesticates me a little. Hehe.

So far my student menu consists of:

1) Brahims ready made sauce : okay, so I know that's cheating but its not like I can get all the condiments I need to make it from scratch right? unless I really look for it of which I am not going to do so because...it is a student menu.

2) Tuna Salsa Pasta : mmmm yummy!

3) Chinese fried rice: so fast to cook and so satisfyingly good

4) Toasted roast beef and cheddar cheese sandwich: my favorite lunch food

5) Roasted teriyaki chicken with rice : Mmmhmmm

6) Spaghetti Marinara: Oh enak lazat sungguh

There will be more to come!

Come share with me what you like to cook! I love trying new recipes.

:)

I Hate Assholes

What is it with guys who think that girls can't handle the truth?

What is up with guys who was once your friend who you might have ended up becoming more than friends with having a problem with telling you the truth?

No, it's not about me.

Yes, I'm fine.

But it seems I have a friend who had to go through this kind of crap.

And on her behalf I would like to give that guy a nice ass whooping.

He is an asshole.

An asshole who we've known for a really long time. He was really interested in her at first swooning her with all the sweetest gestures and all that jazz and then somehow along the way he became an asshole.

An asshole who dumped my friend because he wanted to play World of Warcraft. An asshole who dumped my friend on the day before my friend's birthday because he wanted to (and I quote) "only have a relationship with" his video game character!

What THE FUCK?

And then a few months later when his game subscription is about to expire send text messages to her saying he misses her?

GO TO HELL.

Ladies, take note, there are some huge assholes out there who may deceive you with all their sweetness.

It's no wonder I live in fear of commitment. With the existence of dick heads like these?

Anyways, this asshole did not stop at the I miss you texts.

It turns out we find out a few months later (while he still says things like "i want you back" to my friend) that he has another girlfriend and that apparently he had hooked up with that girl slightly before the time he dumped my friend!

FUCKING ASSHOLE.

He's such an asshole. I mean, it's not like we randomly met him from God knows where. I mean, we know his family. We went to school with him. We were basically friends! But how can this asshole have no decency to be honest with how he feels towards my friend? I mean if the spark is gone and he's moved on just tell her damn it! She may cry for a couple of days but she'll get over it!

It's the 21st century damn it! I mean, despite women having crazy PMS outbreaks and emotional breakdowns I think most of us are accustomed to know that most men are dick heads and that we have to be weary of their cunning crap right?

Instead of playing my friend out he could've just said "hey! I'm not that into you anymore!"

BUT NO! Instead he chooses to deny everything when evidence AND WITNESSES are as solid as a constipated piece of shit to point out that he is in fact, a lying asshole!

ASSHOLE.

I can't stop saying that.

This guy is going to get a piece of my mind.

Ergh.

No.1

For those of you who don't know, I have a sitemeter that keeps track of whoever is reading my shit.

I truly appreciate the fact that even though I don't tell many people about this place, there's always someone who'd come back and see if I've updated it. :)

Anyways, this isn't really a narcissistic post. This post is for one of my readers whom I didn't even know had a blog until I went through my sitemeter.

She's a very good friend of mine. Best friend really.

She's the kind of friend who likes to keep things to herself. The emo stuff at least. But nonetheless when we catch up we do tell each other the emo stuff. Well, emo-ish lah because we're both not that emo really.

See, I'm the type who likes to combine everything.

My family knows all of my friends and I always make it a point that all of my friends (those not in the 'circle' per say) would've at least met my other friends once so that when I throw a party, everybody knows everybody.

I mean, it's easier this way because then I don't have to separate people you know?

Anyways, It was going well until awhile back. My friends got mad at this best friend of mine.

The worst part is that these people are really close to me. Like these are the people I hang most with and I can't live without. These were people in my list of greatest friends!

But the problem was she was in the list too!

So it started to become a separate affair if I were to hang with her which sucked because it made it harder for me to hang with her and to invite her to my parties or social outings.

And on top of that, she was busy too so in the end we pretty much didn't talk the most of 2007.

But I won't lie it wasn't just my friends that caused the friendship to start faltering. I had some pissed of issues with her during that time too.

But I never knew why we both didn't have the courage to confront each other.

Fortunately, we're okay now because I decided to end this bullshit and let it be out in the open.

I mean, imagine if I hadn't done that?

Anyways, the point is, after reading the things she wrote I was touched.

I had no idea I was important person in her life. These days the term best friend is so overused you don't know for sure if you really qualify to be 'a best friend'. And I take the responsibility of being a best friend seriously you know? Sounds funny but it's true. Hehe.

But it's also sad because even though I am her best friend, I hardly knew the shit she went through last year and how shitty it was at times. I still don't understand why it took me so long to finally talk to her.

I'm glad I did.

So if my other close friends can't tolerate her I don't care. She's my friend and I know who she is and if my friends are my friends they'll deal with it. I mean, I don't say anything about your best friend do I?

But whatever because she rocks my world and my list of greatest friends would not be complete without her.

Love you babes!

Oh What A Beautiful Morning

So we've only seen a couple of days of 2008 and already in KL the scandals are pretty darn awesome.

I can tell it's going to be an interesting year!

Chua resigns after sex scandal

PUTRAJAYA: Datuk Seri Dr Chua Soi Lek has tendered his resignation as Health Minister, MCA vice-president, Johor MCA chief and Labis MP.

He announced this at a press conference Wednesday here.

The announcement came a day after he held a press conference in Labis, Johor, where he admitted to being the man in the sex DVDs circulating in Johor.

The two DVDs which had been available in Muar and other towns in Johor show Dr Chua having sex with a woman whom he described as a “personal friend” at Tuesday’s press conference.

“I have seen Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak and MCA president Datuk Seri Ong Ka Ting and I have personally apologised to them,” said Dr Chua on Tuesday, reading from a one-page statement.

On Tuesday Dr Chua had said he would not be resigning from his posts.

“I leave it to party members, leaders and the Malaysian public to be the judge. It's not for me to speculate.”

The 60-year-old doctor sold his medical practice in 1990 to go into politics.

He is married to Datin Seri Wong Sek Hin. The couple has three children.

*Article taken from here

Now mind you, it's 9 am here in Canada and I was just randomly checking my email and as soon as I saw this I was like WTF? Good morning to you too sir!

Like, holy shit.

I don't know whether to laugh or to feel sorry for this guy.

Okay I do feel sorry for him. I mean, he lost his job. I think that's pretty much one of the saddest things and not to mention the most embarrassing thing to happen to a politician.

But I can't help but giggle a little at what has happened.

I mean its so scandalous. And with the elections coming close I do wonder, is this going to effect the polls? Was it some sort of sabotage?

In his defense, seeing as how he was the health minister, perhaps it was a sex education video?

If it was, then hey! it's about bloody time we had someone in the parliament step up our education system! I'm all for it!

Good on you dude!

Teehee.

Deux-mille huit!

Happy New Year, yeah it's been awhile hasn't it?

I woke up this morning realizing I haven't written online in awhile.

But now I have some time so, wow, it's 2008.

So much had happened in 2007. Everything just went by so fast.

For some it may have been a sucky year but for me, it has indeed, been eventful.

Friendships rekindled, fell apart. Rekindled again and are stronger than ever. Friendships stepped beyond boundaries forming new friendship boundaries. The parties. The anniversaries. The engagements. The weddings. The family gatherings. The Crazy Cousins Club. The Birthdays! The 50th year of Independence. The various government organized events that failed and did well. The riots. The shocking assassination. The office politics. The powderful England lingo. The celebrity gossips. Holidays by the beach. Tanning. 'Fasting' in England. Shopping like mad. Drunken moments filled with laughter and sometimes, vomit. Wine sessions. Loads of online bitching. Plenty of dancing. Oh and of course the forever AMAZING FOOD.

So happy new year!

I hope we all have a better year than the last ya?

Cheers!

xoxo