VENT!!!

Public Speaking is an essential skill we should all learn to pick up.

Yeah, I know I said I was too lazy to type but suddenly I decided I just needed to type cos these keyboards feel enticing. Hehe.

Even though every once in awhile I complain how crap summer school is the truth is it's actually fine. The CRAP part is really the fact that I have to wake up so early in the morning ONLY because Mr. Brother of mine has to go pick up his GF all the way in Subang. So we have to leave early for her. My class starts at 11 am and yet I have to wake up at 7 am. One would think I take 4 hours to get ready or perhaps that I live in Melaka or something. But no, I actually live 20 minutes away from college but we leave way in advance for her majesty. OUCH! Yes, this sounds like a complaint doesn't it? Hehe.

I'm not saying I hate her. Honestly she's cool. Besides, they're ending the term soon so after this I'd go to college on my own. Which is kind of good cos then I need not wake up so damn early.

Okay enough on that.

I don't think anyone reads my fuckspot anymore. Not that I care. But you know, it seems all the links of people I have who have fuckspot don't really update theirs anymore. But I totally understand. We're all busy kan?

I'm slowly getting over the loss of COMPAQ. But it will die down eventually. Perhaps God really intended on me to not be so dependent on technology. And I was just thinking about the amount of music I had and movies. They were all pirated. I think God dissaproves of my excessive downloads. BUT GOD!!!! WHY ME? hehe.

Anyways, I really need to write this down before I forget. I have a proposal. It's called PROJECT BULIMIA.

Yes ladies and gentleman, this project is exactly what you think it is. EXCEPT : I am doing this to prove to the world how disgustingly judgmental, shallow, and blinded they can be.

You see Project Bulimia isn't just to show the world how evil they can be. The world is so caught up with this idea of being perfect. Thin is beautiful. Thin is the one you should marry. Fat is bad. Fat shows laziness. All these words. Keep saying it more. What you don't realize is. You're playing with a time bomb.

This project is also for me to tell all those bulimic girls. I get it. Now you can stop. I know many people say one will never understand why girls end up becoming bulimic and shit. Frankly, I didn't either.

But recently I became aware that they are mentally ill due to their overpowering surroundings (evil people) that constantly make their self esteem fall rock bottom. Whether they realize it or not they are mentally ill. In result to this they react by throwing up or shitting(purging excessivley) out whatever they eat because they don't think that the figure they have is perfect.

One question : WHO THE FUCK SAID SKINNY WAS HOT?

To tell you the truth people have not stop calling me fat since I came back. But to tell you the REAL truth I still think I'm hot. I have a fabulous ass and well filled breasts. What the hell do skinny girls have?

Is it the in thing now : Making love to broom sticks?

Anyways, when I proposed Project Bulimia they were like do you know how dangerous it is? bla bla bla. Yes of course I do but unlike these bulimic victims I am not hating myself. I think I'm fucking sexy regardless of what you people think. I already think that I am perfect. I haven't even gone through the I need to be perfect phase and hopefully I won't. To me, perfection is what I am. I don't need anyone else to mess with my confidence because I know I have a good head on my shoulders. I am so in love with me I'll marry me. It's kind of scary to say but I am not afraid of being alone.

CONFIDENCE IS KEY! And I will be the saviour to all these bulimic girls by showing them yes I'm doing what you're doing to show you that I am already perfect and so are you so why do this? we don't need to do this because the truth is we're hot already. And that I am throwing up to tell you that I know how you feel. People are pressuring you. THE MEDIA is pressuring you. You should stop because you need to learn to understand that you are perfect and that you should know that when you die, God is not going to give a shit if you were skinny or fat in life. It's all in the mind.It's all in the voice of the judgemental people around you. But alas, ignore them because what matters most is YOU.

Bulimic girls are perfectionists.

What they need to realize is that they are absolutely perfect already. One should wonder how and why do they think they're not perfect? After all, nobody's perfect. Imperfection is what makes perfection right?

It's so sad that I actually even thought of doing this. I hate all you materialistic bastards who have been sucked in to the world of "fair is beautiful"and "thin is hot". You're narrowing down your options of appreciation in human beings. Why is it that we humans like to do that?

Anyways, Its just a proposal. Whether it's viable or not we'll never know unless one day I truly crack (not that I haven't but you know, real crack).

So fellows, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, best friends and especially, you. You need to know that before you tell someone their imperfect because their fat. Remember, you're potentially turning them into a bulimic.

If they feel low, tell them they're beautiful. If they feel happy, be happy with them. Help these girls. They have a problem.

Thanks.

More Photos!

Well Hello there. These photos are in no particular order cos i'm too lazy to put them in order. But these are more photos! whee! enjoy!

Ili's bacccckk!

Siblings

Ili's Godsister and her new husband

Misty Ray of Light by Nadzirah Hashim

Me and Di

Me, Jeremy and Ili at Ili's Godsister's wedding

The Wedding afterparty at Cynna

Shahir and I

Me and My cold wall

Me, Ili and Raline

My Aunt's wedding by me (so classic looking)

Spot a familiar person (7th from the left)

Me and Ery

URTV pose

Ili, me, and erm, Kak Baby's two friends from DC

So that's what has been happening with me so far. More photos to come. Hope my Canadian peeps are havin' fun yoooooo! hahahaha.

Ciao!

Photos!

SUMMER PHOTOS PART I

Rum Jungle Bathroom- Me and Di

My adorable cousins at my aunt's wedding

My aunt got married - whee!

Me, Ira mum, and Nad at Rum Jungle

Let the Sisterhood of Vanity begin

Di, Me and Ira

No.1 and I

Faez!!!

Grandpa and Grandchildren by me

I tried uploading more but it won't let me! Damn! Maybe I'll do a two part post?

To be continued...

Farewell, COMPAQ.

This post is special. VERY special. and no doubt, sentimental.

I shall begin with a prayer.

Dear God,

I hope You punish the bastard/bitch who stole my laptop bag.
I curse the stealer. I curse the airline. May they suffer great bankruptcy in the near future.

Dear God,

I may seem like I am angered. I am. But more sad than anything else. In there, was a part of my life. A part of my life. Gone. But God, I know this is a lesson for me. And I will take it. With pride.

Amen.

This post is meant for my COMPAQ. My sweet sweet loving COMPAQ. It's like losing a lover, a best friend, a part of you, your family. It was literally holding information that represented who I was. Photos that are part of my memory. Creative juices waiting to burst into the world. Lost.

Sigh.

No point crying over spilt milk. In fact there are no tears left. Only this little ache in my heart. Every little thing that reminds me of it, aches my heart. SOUNDS LIKE A BREAKUP DOESN'T IT? hehe.

Oh COMPAQ, never will I forget you. You remain close to my heart. I hope you will be taken care well. But I know no one will ever be able to adore you like I do. You rocked my world!

Like all great things, this is our end. I will let go off you. Hopefully this let go will reduce my heartache.

Again, Thanks.

Goodbye.

Szzeeee Szzzeee Szzzee Szzzeee

It's so bloody difficult to update this fuckspot since I have no internet but I guess I have a wee bit of time.

As we all know I am back and I have lost my LAPTOP FOR GOOD. Along with my awesome makeup. Everytime someone starts talking about good music or mentioning songs that I USED TO HAVE I'D GET ALL EMOTIONAL. And when people ask me to go out at night I feel discouraged for I know I have NO AWESOME makeup to awesomely cover up my UNawesome face.

Coming home has made me break out like crazy.

It is confirmed - I am an eskimo because I cannot stand the heat. I only want to live in the cold. yet somehow i do enjoy the beach. No I think I like the wind. If there's wind I'm cool.

Anyways, I start college this Tuesday. I'm only allowed to take 2 courses so I chose the fun ones! Public Speaking and Introduction to Theatre. It should be awesome. I hope I will have fun.

I really miss my comp. I feel lost. I might die soon. Okay being a bit too melodramatic. I've done my calculations and I need to make 5000 Malaysian Ringgit to replace everything I lost. I wish money grew on trees.

Have any of you heard of Alvin Ailey?

Well, my parents are trying to get them to come down to KL & Singapore to perform in October and I'm helping them out (sort of, I mean, I'm not helping them right now am I? hehe). But anyways if you like modern dance jazz ballet kind of thing they would be awesome to check out but please take note : they are very 80s. I mean everything about them is just so 80s.

But this Alvin Ailey dude, well, he's dead now, died of AIDS. His dance company consists of mostly African Americans and dances are generally about their sufferings during the times of slavery in America. It's VERY DEEP. So if you're expecting a Lady Salsa or Fever Night kind of show then you're going to hate this. It's really artsy. They cater to high society upmarket New Yorkers apparently. I don't know. I watched a bit of their dances and some are fun but the slower ones are really, interesting i mean, a bit too deep for me. What can I say? I'm not that artsy after all eh?

Enough about work.

I am really hoping that Sunway won't be so boring when I'm there. What I meant to say was there better be something like EYE CANDY for me. On the very bright side My No.2 and Shon are coming back real soon so it's going to be uber fun. And I've almost narrowed down what kind of party I'm throwing this year. WOOHOO! But it'll only be in late July or early August.

Man, I really hope I'm going back to Uvic. Dude, I mean, Kristin! Pray for me! I mean do some sort of mantra or something! Or tarrot read me! I don't know! Hehe.

OH I really need to write this all down before I forget. MUSIC OF TODAY IS UBER WEIRD. I mean the LL Cool J Song with J.Lo. What's up with the "szeeeee szee szeee szeee szee szeee"? And then there's the Pussycat Dolls with the song Buttons where they sound like Ibans trying to blow their sumpit (Ibans are a tribe and they make this sort of noise everytime they go hunting re: exactly like the sound the pussycat dolls make when they sing buttons) "Baby can't you seeeee-eeeeeehh!!!". Me and my sis make fun of it all the time. I've actually made remixes of these songs. They sound quite INTERESTING. But yeah. Oh well. I wonder if these songs will make it into the GOLDEN OLDIES hits 20 years from now? What do you think?

I wonder.

Me and my mum have decided those artists worthy to be mentioned still 20 years from would definetly include people like Madonna and Mariah Carey.

I wonder what the music of the future would be like.

Hmmmm.