Shallowism

Man, what a relief. I managed to complete my essay on the EU on time. You should have seen me, rolling around in bed like a mad woman. It's like, picture one of those scenes where a girl is in an imaginary straightjacket. Yes, an imaginary straightjacket. Where your arms are free but you feel like you're in one anyway. I felt like that. It was insane.

And today, after a gruelling week of losing my appetite and not being able to finish my meals, I managed to finish the incredibly not-so-fantastic cafeteria food in the university. Wow. I am so proud of me. :) It was SO GOOD yet i know it wasn't probably THAT good. It's like one of those meals where if you're not so hungry would taste just normal. However, due to my extreme starvation, it was AMAZING. It felt like I hadn't eaten for 3000 years and this meal was the first meal ever. Mmmm, what an orgasmic feeling. Hehe.

Anyways, I am extremely tired. Extremely. I'm so glad I can now sit back (for awhile) and just chill.

I've been thinking a lot. Like a lot. About everything. And in my heart I wish life was simple. Why do we demand so much? What's the point in having all these materialistic things that we have? Maybe Polpot was right. That the life of an agrarian society would be the best way to live. What? BULLSHIT. Hehe.

I am at a state where I feel like what I'm doing is just a waste of time. That time is a waste of time and that we should just stop time and CHILL. That it would be great if we didn't have to do anything. Like the Nothing song by The Cat Empire.

"Nothing, oh sweet nothing. Today we're doing nothing at all. Lalalalala..O-oh-oh-oh-ah..."

Sigh.

That song reminds me of home. And summer. And just cruising in the Kembara with Raz and Di, or just lying in the living room doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. What a life.

The privellege of doing nothing these days is such a rarity. I guess I sound ignorant. It probably looks like I don't care for those who are desperately looking for a job, struggling to get into university, working their asses and climbing to the top. But why? Why must we climb. Why can't we just chill. Why can't we just relax and keep quiet. Yeah I know, sounds like I want to be dead. That's not true though. I just....

I just...

I guess I just don't know any better. And because of that i'd rather do nothing. I guess I feel that I am at the verge of falling so i figured why not jump ahead to complete the fall? Am i making sense? No? Good.

I never make sense anyway. Sense is just a feeling I don't indulge to feel.

Sigh.

(15 hours later)

Okay want to know something funny? I got distracted while writing this blog and was reading on celebrity gossips and fell asleep. The best part is yet to come : I was reading an article on the world's most we-do-not-know-why-she's-a-celebrity person. Thats right. Paris Hilton. It seems she was sued. I had no idea.

Apparently I had no idea on a lot of things that these celebrities do. And frankly its not my business nor do i care. I just can't believe the press cares that Paris Hilton has nipple slips, Natalie Portman was a guess lecture at a univeristy, or that Lindsay Lohan does coke? Wow. That Lindsay Lohan story was quite fascinating. Haha.

But at the end of the day, they are just people. People do things whether good or bad. So why are they so special? The answer is : THE PRESS makes them special.

They can be our friends and our foes.

Yes, thanks to the press we are aware of things like the 'war' in Iraq. When I say 'war' I mean it was actually more like an invasion. But the press have the ability to misconstrue information to make you think what they want to think. For example, they can make us think that the Iraqis are indeed the enemies or that the American soldiers are the enemies. All they have to do is write it down and include some nice pictures that show something that looks like what they're talking about and bam! our perception can change just like that.

But we can't JUST blame the journalists. They are simply writing what "the paper" wants. So, who is "the paper"? Who is this person who controls what is to be printed out in the paper? Yes, the owner of the paper! And you wonder, who is asking the dude who owns the paper to write all this shit? And what kind of society does he/she hope to achieve when he/she get the readers to read this shit?

Which brings me to my next point. It's (unfortunately) all about WHO you know.

People who have connections with the press have the power to make people think what they want them to think. If I was best friends with all the owners of press companies in the world I'd probably have the power to tell you that the right way to think is not to think so much. I'd give proof that thinking so much could lead to stress and would eventually kill you but hey we're going to die anyway so don't think about that either. Just CHILL. But I don't know any press company owners so lucky you. Hehe.

But It's not just the press. It's everything. Everything we do. In the REAL WORLD. The world of academia is probably the closest thing to what one should call fair.

In the real world, you need to have THE NETWORK to get to the "top" (if that's what you desire). The more important people you know the better. It sickens me to think like this but it is unfortunately true. This is why there are so many social climbers out there. Because they too, want to be at the "top". And in order to be at the top, you need to kiss ass.

Of course, there are some out there who were born lucky. Lucky in a sense that they were born being at the top. Like, Paris Hilton for instance. If her dad didn't own The Hilton and was just a random car salesperson in a small town, you think she'd be where she is now? You think she'd be hanging with all the 'coolest' people? I think not.

And then of course, I hate the fact that to be on top you need money. It seems money causes people to do crazy things. Money makes a person feel in power. Money is apparently, power.

So there.

The conclusion is : The world is shallow.

So should I be shallow too? Oh wait a minute, I am. Sad but true. We can't run away from it but both you and I know you have a little shallowness in you.

Oh well.