Damn You Hormonic Pills!

Sometimes I wonder why I still write in this thing. I mean its not like I'm still writing my movie script. In a lot of ways, I'm still kind of raw that I lost my laptop. Yeah Naz, GET OVER IT. I try. But sometimes when I hear music that I used to have, I can't help feel a little nostalgic about that good old thing I used to have. And then there's my two favourite pants and my webcams and makeup bag. SIGH.

What got me thinking about all this was when I told someone that we shouldn't look back but move forward. Looking back makes one dwell. And dwell. and dwell and eventually leading them to the world of wishing. "I wish I can do that again", "I wish it didn't happen", "I wish I didn't say that". Yeah yeah. Keep wishing.

If we keep looking back we will eventually become depressed about our present. And worst be clouded with our future. I mean, I don't want to know my future but I would like to plan it. I would like to know that presently, I am doing something that would be good for my future.

But then, there's fate. Fate is something we cannot change. But aren't we allowed to change our fates? GOD KNOWS.

Really God, tell me. Can we? What do you guys think? If I had eaten all my Krispy Kreme or dumped it at the airport. Would I have not lost my laptop? Or would God intend to make me lose my laptop another way? Sigh. FATE. Myth or Reality?

I don't know why but when you see people suffer you think more. When we're high up there in the world of materialism we forget everything. We forget that we have it good. I guess when you lose something God is trying to say COME DOWN BITCH YOU'RE TOO HIGH UP THERE. Thanks. I needed that.

Fasting month is coming up yet again. I can't wait. In a lot of ways I'm really glad I'm staying in KL. I'll be able to Raya with the family. Last year was SO depressing. I literally went to uni and came home and cooked by myself and laid all that cookies and ate it by myself and listen to lagu raya BY MYSELF. It's like Christmas without a family. It was sad but true.

So currently, its great to be home but i NO DOUBT miss my Canadian Bitches. You know who you are. I will come back eventually. I just hope you guys will still remember me. :( Oh, what an emotional post. I swear it's those God damn hormon adjusment skin pills. Yeah I'm seeing my dermatologist again because I am breaking out like the bloody moon. GROSS!!!!

So yeah. I will post photos soon. I actually need to put up a lot and it will probably be on the lower posts because I've done half of it. I'll wait till this Friday because the last batch of the London crew will be leaving. You know who you are. Man, the amount of requests for me to go visit them is atrocious. Dudes, I'll TRY okay?

Anyways, I'm going to go back to work. This Alvin Ailey thing is insanely mentalling me out. The economy isn't good therefore the corporates are being stingy. well F U! Hehehe.

Ciao!